I'm not usually someone to post a jokey video in place of a verbose, self-important rant against something inconsequential, but this is different.
When some future civilization unearths the only iPod to ever contain the entire 90 minutes of Lulu, they will be as baffled and speechless as we are today. No one, I doubt even Metallica or Lou Reed themselves, can wrap their heads around this album enough to truly critique it.
Of course there will be bold attempts and some people may even find themselves vaguely within the proximity of comprehending the true existence of this record, what it means in both a musical and an artistic sense.
But while I could bore or anger you with my own take, trying to enunciate the real spirit and drive of this album, the clip up above describes Lulu perfectly: Some senile old man ranting about nonsense over a shitty metal riff.