Former Arkansas governor, presidential candidate, and current Huckabee talk show host Mike Huckabee is Fox News Channel's first (and possibly last) "Doom Metal Expert". No shit! Decibel doesn't even have a resident "Doom Metal Expert" -- well, Scott Koerber and EIC Mr. Mudrian have the right credentials, but have never self-proclaimed "I am a Doom Metal Expert" even if they are "Doom Metal Experts" -- on staff. But leave it up to Greg "Mr. Intrepid" Gutfeld (interviewed in Decibel #67, May 2010) to enlist Mike Huckabee to go on record and shout from the heavens, "Torche is the world's greatest band. And if you haven't heard of them you're a probably racist homophobe. You ought to be in a cage made out of your own bones." Really?! Think I'm fucking with you? I'm not. He's got more. Way more, in fact.
Huckabee informs: "It's a band with more hooks than a pirate convention. It's a band heavier than something really heavy. Like a tractor or something. I don't know. It's Black Sabbath meets U2 mixed with a vat of delicious chocolate sauce."
Huckie-boy has a few more choice lines -- all of which rival anything I've ever said about heavy/extreme music --, but I'll let the video do the rest of the heavy lifting.
Holy shit, Mike! Do you want to blog for Decibel?
Also, here's video of Gutfeld getting his "earholes sodomized" by Torche.