For Those About to Squawk: Waldo's Pecks of the Week

Welcome to the dog days of August. Fuck dogs (do not do this - ed.) gaytheist

Uh, there’s a band called GAYTHEIST, and they are releasing a record called Stealth Beats on Good to Die Records. What’s this about? Is it music for gay atheists? Is it music written by a gay atheist? Is it Atheist covers with anti-Chick-fil-A lyrics? Who knows? Is it heavy? Yes! This is the kind of thing that seems to sprout up from the Portland area every couple of years. This is reminiscent of Tight Bros From Way Back When, Karp, Red Fang and that sort of thing, a kind of sludgy rock metal amalgam that seems to be only bred in the Pacific Northwest, but derives from that sound sometimes with high-pitched and/or screamed vocals and downright silly guitar parts. Check them out, it’s kinda cool. Although one would TOTALLY understand if this wasn’t your thing. I mean, it should be checked out based on the name alone. Blare this at the nearest place where the Westboro Baptist Church is hanging out. It's kind of a mishmash of punk, metal, whatever. 6 FUCKING PECKS.

Let’s play Master and Servant. Paul Speckmann and company are back at it again, as MASTER come at us with The New Elite, and although I’m not too sure what the record title refers to, they are one of the first death metal bands, so it’s cool. There’s enough diversity in the songwriting to make this thing not TOTALLY sound the same song to song, so it’s a peck above 2010’s The Human Machine. These records are pretty interchangeable, but when one employs this formula, it’s a little hard not to be good. This is old-school thrashy death with growled vocals and beats that clock in a speed close to D-beat punk, and the raw production gives it some length of bone. 5 FUCKING PECKS.

Wow! I know there’s like different metal than death and grind; your old feathered friend digs doom, too. I really don’t know what to make of this. TEXAS HIPPIE COALITION with Peacemaker: I mean, I guess this is awesome, if you like this sort of heavy, radio-friendly redneck rock. Like a heavier Black Label Society, with a healthy dose of Pantera and Crowbar... and don’t forget the redneck stomp aspect to this. I can’t say I dig it, but you know it’s good clean whiskey-slugging, beer-swilling, stripper-watching fun. I mean, just watch this video:

Also the singer is like 400 lbs. I doubt anyone who reads this blog would like this, but SOMEONE does. I can’t decide if it’s like watching an car accident in slow motion. SURE to be a hit with drunken uncles everywhere. 3-8 FUCKING PECKS.

There’s a TON of re-releases this go 'round, too, so check that stuff out.

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