Deci-Mation Theater: Santa Claus Investigates the Webster Hall Stabbings

To say the stories coming out in the aftermath of the recent CBGB Festival stabbings have not exactly jibed would be an understatement, but, then, Cro-Mags have always been a band that encapsulated a certain degree of volatility and cognitive dissonance. "Show You No Mercy" follows "World Peace" on the landmark Age of Quarrel. It's part of the appeal. Anyway, in pondering the at-odds statements of Harley Flanagan and John Joseph, it seemed like what we really needed was an unimpeachable mediator to sort this out without poor Harley having to run his War out of a Riker's Island cell... So we -- to employ modern Hollywood parlance -- re-imagined the context of the statement texts below.

By the way, we kid, but for the record, Harley's War churns out excellent gritty old school hardcore and John Joseph has not only written perhaps the great punk rock autobiography as well as, yes, Meat is for Pussies, but also kills it with his version of the Cro-Mags. Here's hoping the hurt dudes get well soon and that this is all resolved with minimal destruction of lives and families. Videos after the jump.

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