Eyehategod Tour Diary, Part Un

Posted July 16 by Chris D.

By Mike Williams & Gary Mader (Eyehategod)

New Orleans, LA
6/2/10
We leave N'awlins at two in the morning for our first show of this new tour that starts in Orlando, FL. What follows is hours of darkness and listening to the controversial broadcast Coast to Coast, former announcer and real life X-files pundit Art Bell's conspiracy-driven radio talk discussion of high frequency destruction, shadow people, cold fusion, solar flare-ups, Chupacabras and digressive black holes; all a prophecy of the high road to inevitable decimation of humanity and all life forms as we know them. Hence the EHG tour 2010 slogan: "First the Oil Spill, Now This…”

Orlando, FL
6/3/10
Pull up to first show, all good vibes so far. We're doing this tour with a couple black metal bands (we think...what’s black metal nowadays? we have not a clue.) Nachtmystium and Withered and they have a big stage production compared to us, the headlining band, being bare bones and down to earth. So we watch them load in their stage show and groan. When the gig finally started we ran into a bunch of old friends from over 10 years back that stayed with us at one time or another. Henry Wilson (Floor, Dove, Cavity) whom we haven't seen since the Dixie Taverne days (an old New Orleans punk rock establishment that held many a depraved hedonistic gigs but was since destroyed by Katrina), makes it out to the show as well as Rick from Torche, Rob from Dark Castle, and other friends we've made along the way. The last time we were supposed to play Florida, we cancelled due to an approaching hurricane, leaving many disappointed fans who drove from as far as Tampa to see us; but they are all here tonight. The first note of shrill feedback sets the crowd on fire, leaving behind our trail of riff hearing impairment and dysfunctionality in the name of rock n' roll. One down and we're off to a good start. We also find out tonight that our old friends from New Orleans and Ninth Ward mainstay Mr. Quintron and Miss Pussycat are on tour in the USA as well, only a day or two ahead or behind us. Hope we can meet up with them.

Spartanburg, SC
6/5/10
The last time we were at this club we played to about 75 people, and got obliterated on Jagermeister, and um, some other shit and Mike and our driver at that time; EZ Money, threw a bunch of chairs and bottles up on the roof of the joint. To the obvious dismay of Mick, the club owner, we made our beds on pool tables and a concrete floor while Mick and his friend did cocaine all night (not offering or selling any mind you) and making sure we didn't break into his snack machine or help ourselves to drinks that we didn't need at that point. This comes up in conversation immediately. “Man, the last time you guys was here, one of ya'll had puked all over the floor.” He continues in his inimitable Southern drawl, “Yeah, we went to cleanin’ it all up, and it looked like one of ya’lls had ate some goddamn Silly Putty or something.” That was Mike. Famous quote from Mick the club owner: “Life done beat me down”.

The best memory of this show was the BBQ catering for the meet and greet, and seeing another comrade of ours, the amazing anomaly Joe Buck. He had driven up from Kentucky because he heard EHG was playing and wanted to get on the bill. He used to be the stand-up bassist for Hank III, and now has a one man band, although he distances himself from that tag. “Man, I got a kick drum and a guitar; that ain’t a damn band.” Joe, a beautifully nutty human being, who may suffer from as much mental disfigurement as any and all of us, lights up a crowd that just sat thru two hours of black metal, with his erratic, southern country twang and feedback; burning holes in the souls of an unworthy audience with a distant and furious gaze, as he spews his discontent with civilization, re-enforced by a cannon-like kick drum and frantic riffery. “We’re livin’ in the Dark Ages man! They’re learnin’ nothin’ in the schools!” Awesome. Joe Buck rules.

Pre-show discussion that day between Mike, Joey and myself about paranormal experiences, old haunted prisons and mental hospitals. EVP: electronic voice phenomena; the electronic translation of voices of those stuck in the middle of life and death. In the case of haunted sanitariums, what does a paranormal expert say to an apparition? There are recordings of women screaming, murdered prisoners still longing for freedom, and those still locked in psychological trauma, even after death.

Joey: “And they’d be like, ‘Are you a patient?’” And you’d hear a voice say “yyeess”, which he mimics in a voice not unlike Carol Ann from Poltergeist, that will have us losing our minds laughing and being stupid the whole tour. Yes, we are easily amused and are thankful for this; given the hours of boredom and delirium that lie ahead. Small inside jokes make for wasted time I guess. Joey puts it best: One and a half hours of fun, twenty two and a half hours of wanting to die. OK, it’s not that dramatic but boredom does take its toll. Kirk (K-Lloyd) from Buzzov-en was out here tonight and he’s looking well. Same funny fucking asshole as usual. Good seeing him.

Raleigh, NC
6/6/10
Today we meet up with Haarp, one of New Orleans finest rock outfits, and Christ is it good to see them. They will break up the monotony that the two hours of black metal has been for the last few nights. Not that the BM groups ain’t good, but two hours of anything sucks. Well, not everything but I think everyone more than shares that opinion. Mike got rolled up on after calling Withered out on the ridiculous smoke machine and light show that we have to wait for them to set up every night. What happened to just getting up and jamming? Funny thing, after Mike said something, the next night it seemed like their show was lessened a bit. On a positive note, we are lucky to not only jam with Haarp, but also some good ol’ fashioned Raleigh hardcore courtesy of Stripmines. There is a healthy early ‘80s style HC scene on the East Coast, primarily NC and VA with bands like Plagues, Cross Laws, Government Warning, Wasted Time, et al.

Haarp completely devastated everyone. Two songs, the first a 16 minute new song played flawless, while Sean meandered thru the crowd violently, getting inches from the bewildered kid’s faces. We take the stage and are in full destruction mode at this point with more than a few hangovers under our belt. Mid set, Jimmy’s guitar strap breaks, so he pulls up a stool and we finish another great show. The whole time we are playing, security are flashing lights at us, and we don’t realize why. We later find out it is because we are smoking cigarettes. You see, the smoking ban is everywhere. At 41 years of age Jimmy is scolded for smoking by the promoter, who seems to be having a rough night and takes it out on us. We leave, unwelcomed, as usual. That’s something we have grown accustomed to (and find amusing at least) over the years. Fuck them if they can’t take a joke. A plus this night is meeting a couple dudes from NC’s Double Negative, who brought us some food and records and a great band that we wanna tour with sooner than later.

Our worthless nine hour ride to Louisville starts immediately after the show featuring DJ Joey Lacaze aka Lil Daddy LLL (Live Life Loaded) jamming New Orleans own UNLV “6th and Baronne,” and then a Roky Erickson rock block...I Think of Demons...are you a patient...yyeeess. Then “Daddy sang bass, Momma sang tenor, Sun comin’ up and I can’t decide....” We’re rolling through the Appalachians. Mike in a moment of drunken absurdity: “You know somewhere down there [in the valley] some dude’s jerkin’ off to a picture of Jesus.” Jimmy: “Some dudes jerkin’ off and don’t know his chicks watchin’.” Enter Total Delirium and Insanity - Programme One/Episode One.

Louisville, KY
6/7/10
On the way to Louisville, we find out that Brian, our driver, has not only had a CDL since he was 17, but also spent four and a half years in the Marines, six months of which he spent driving a truck loaded with high explosives in and out of Baghdad during the initial invasion of Iraq, while being fired on by RPGs and other shit that could have made a disaster of the cargo. We thank him profusely for putting his life on the line, something he says folks seldom do.

We pull up to club Headliner’s for a meet and greet that we have before some of our shows and the promoter has arranged for catering by Big Dave’s barbeque for the guests and the bands. We sign posters, CDs, and adult diapers for about a half hour (as strange as this may seem to our fans and friends at home and to us, people want to meet us...yes, we know this is weird) and we do an extended sound check for our guests. Doors open shortly after, and a line from the club door to the street make their way in. Haarp kills it again, followed by Chicago black metallers Nachtmystium, who play the best show any of us have seen them play thus far. The beginning of our set is punctuated by some dude smashing a beer bottle to pieces over a wedge monitor, glass spraying out in every direction. Where there’s broken glass, there’s fun, right? So far, this has been the best show all around, many thanks to a promoter that gives a fuck about the bands he books; thank you Terry Porter. Travel note: if you ever find yourself in Louisville, hit up Big Dave’s Barbeque, the ribs were on fire!

St. Louis, MO
6/8/10
It’s a Monday night in St. Louis. What was supposed to be a four hour drive, felt like ages and decades gone by. We pull up to the club and find out there are seven freaking bands before us and we have no free alcohol. We are told there is a convenience store a few blocks away, but that we should not walk there because we will, quote “get jacked”, unquote. We did anyway. Travel note: to see the only “ghetto” in the whole United States with a university, people jogging, and a micro-brew cafe; come to St. Louis. We ran into Gary Nickels, formerly of the infamous Alcoholic Sluts (who hosted some of the most lawless and greatest rock shows in NOLA in the early ‘90s at a bar called the RC Bridge Lounge and elsewhere) and we hang with Haarp. Gary anecdotes us with a tale of a gig gone real bad in NOLA with the Supersuckers, where somebody was an asshole and the band got their merch swiped. ‘Nuff said. Fun times, good people. That incident is going to be documented in Pat Roig’s book “Staple Guns and Thumb Tacks” in a story by Glenn Wilson, so we’ll leave it at that. Shameless plug for Pat’s book. Pat owes us now. Just remember that it ended with Glenn beating the shit out of them on one Mardi Gras Carnival night. This was sadly Haarp’s last show with us, and we are more than a little bummed. The crowds they played in front of have a new found appreciation for not only New Orleans, but more specifically, “Da Parish.” After the show we head out to the only Denny’s I’ve ever seen that isn’t 24 hrs, and we part ways. Drive safe brethren, the sea is angry my friends...Fly on.

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