Centinex Xmas Gifts, Maybe?
Posted December 2 by Chris D.
When trolling eBay for obscure stuff you find obscure stuff. Like 8x10s promo photos of Morgoth, the shattered piece of a Cradle of Filth guitar or advertisement cut-outs of old metal magazines. There’s weirder shit for sure on eBay. But these finds are up there. No, I’m not talking about a petrified gall bladder or some teenage girl’s virginity. This seller, cutely named ‘fully-life’, from Hong Kong has a cool range of ‘lifestyle’ products for the discerning, need-everything culture/music myrmidon.
For example, Supernatural fans can nab a hunky Jared Padalecki flip top lighter for $8.50, anime nerds have it easy with a Cowboy Bebop cigarette/money wallet for $8.20, and Taking Back Sunday acolytes can sport a fancy stainless steel watch for $12.20. ‘fully-life’ has pop culture on lock. The seller even has NFL-branded stuff, too. Like the Lions, Browns or Buccaneers? No problem. Stock up on sweet mentionables from all your favorite losing teams for unbeatable prices. But here’s where ‘fully-life’ goes a bit bonkers. The seller stocks stuff from H.I.M. and Slipknot – two big heavy hitters – but for some reason has all his merch branded with Centinex photos. Centinex? The defunct Swedish death metal act? Yup. Not sure how or why ‘fully-life’ picked Centinex from a unfathomly deep well of underground metal acts, but he/she/they did. Pretty exclusively, too. That’s right. No Dimmu Borgir watches, Lacuna Coil alarm clocks, or Lamb of God cigarette/money wallets. Just Centinex. Oh, sorry, ‘fully-life’ has Chimaira and Dark Tranquillity, too. But that’s it.
Check out this pick Centinex puffy alarm clamshell clock. Neat. And very metal.
How about a Centinex money clip/watch combo? I’ve always wanted one.
I have plenty of alarm clocks around the house and on my person (thanks iPhone!), but this Centinex jawn is nearly a must-have. Imagine what my bros would think when they find this baddie in the guest room.
But what I don’t have is a flask. Shit. My friends have flasks. They bring ‘em into clubs and inconspicuously sip from them when they need to ‘freshen’ up before a Suffocation or Goreaphobia set. Now, thanks to ‘fully-life’ I can have a 6 oz flask for a measly $12.20 plus shipping. Rad!
Click here to visit ‘fully-life’’s store. If you get lead poisoning (from the flask) or the Centinex puffy alarm clamshell clock breaks after two days don’t blame us. Caveat emptor, the wise shopper says! But it is wonderful Christmastime, so what the fuck, right? We reached out to ex-Centinex, current Demonical mainman Martin Schulman for comment, but the dude isn't returning our calls. His loss, no?