The Deciblog Screamo Cover Elimination Bracket (Sweet 16)

Posted August 25 by nick

Drop Dead, Gorgeous, "Swing"

VS

 I Set My Friends on Fire, "Crank Dat(Soulja Boy)"

Top 40 hip-hop appeals to our sadder selves with crummy lyrics and rote sexist themes, but it's neverthless a near-perfect musical product. Take Soulja Boy's "Crank Dat (Soulja Boy)" and Savage's "Swing" as examples: The former, with its Carribean steel drums, and dissonant, layered vocals, and the latter, which incorporates chunky island rhythms and a throaty Samoan man's demand that his American party guests "make [their] hips swing," are masterfully produced dance songs that can't--at least by their genre's standards--be improved. The kids in I Set My Friends on Fire (Soulja Boy) and Drop Dead, Gorgeous (Savage) must have thought that by excising the original vocals and recording screams and breakdowns, they were "covering" hip-hop. But an unwritten rule of releasing a cover (as opposed to playing one at a wedding) is that your interpretation must say something about the original. In this case, the bands could've dragged their songs into the post-hardcore genre, or mussed up the beats with some tasteful double-bass drum work. But no! These renditions communicate nothing beyond "I can scream over anything!" Because it is seemingly composed of two small ethnic tweens, I Set My Friends On Fire gets the pass for the boys' ability to make strange goat noises. But Drop Dead, Gorgeous, which has churned out some decent post-hardcore, should've known better.

Winner: I Set My Friends on Fire, "Crank Dat (Soulja Boy)"

--Mike Riggs, Washington City Paper

Brokencyde, "Low"

VS

A Static Lullaby, "Toxic"

Talk about a Sophie’s Choice. This is like being asked if I prefer to watch my mother get raped, or instead just take it up the ass myself. I can’t believe the first time The Deciblog has ever asked me to do something, this is what they requested. It’s like they’re actually punishing me for not being tr00 enough or something. ANYWAY, since a choice must be made, I’m voting for A Static Lullaby. I reached this conclusion based on the following criteria: a) it would seem that ASL actually play instruments, b) they’re not Brokencyde, c) I would have fucked Britney Spears ten years ago, d) they’re not Brokencyde, e) I don’t know what “Low” is a cover of and I’m too lazy to Google it, and f) they’re not Brokencyde. Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to go wash my ears out with Drano.

Winner: A Static Lullaby, "Toxic"

--Axl Rosenberg, MetalSucks

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